


Intimate

by stereobone



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Massage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:15:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stereobone/pseuds/stereobone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Many words have been used to describe Levi, but none of them have seemed just right to Erwin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Intimate

People have described Levi as many things: short, inhuman, brave, cat-like, _god-like_. Heartless. High-strung. Erwin knows that he is all of these things and none of them at the same time. Many words have been used to describe Levi, but none of them have seemed just right to Erwin.

The man is tense, a tightly wound instrument, and yet he fights with a grace few could ever hope to master. There are sides to Levi that Erwin has never seen. Slowly, as the years pass, the mystery of Levi starts to unravel. But every time Erwin uncovers one layer, he's met with a thousand more. Levi keeps him on his toes perhaps more than any titan ever has.

* * *

He's agitated. It's not an uncommon emotion for Levi, especially where the Military Police are involved. He paces the length of Erwin's office, teacup forgotten on the desk. Erwin watches him with his elbows resting on the desk, chin cradled in his interlaced fingers.

"Fucking MP," Levi says. "Those bastards would say anything to stop us."

This isn't the first time they've butt heads with the Military Police, and Erwin knows it won't be the last. He's learned to let it go. Things have worked out in their favor for once. That's all they can ask for. Levi doesn't see it the same way. His body is taut with rage, fists clenched. He despises corruption. Pointless death. All things the MP are occasionally responsible for.

Levi growls, takes a booted foot and kicks the chair opposite Erwin's. It slides into the wall before falling over, helpless and inanimate. Erwin stands. He rounds the desk until he's inches from Levi's tense form.

"Levi," he says.

"Maybe we should throw those pigs outside the wall and see how long they last."

"Levi," Erwin says again, and this time the man looks up at him, attentive.

"What." Levi's eyes are narrowed, nose scrunched, lips barely containing his sneer. "You know you want to."

"Relax. The deed is done. They've paid for it."

"Not enough," Levi says, arms crossed.

His shoulders are drawn in on the defensive, and Erwin remembers the anger in them from years ago when he first recruited Levi, back when Levi was inconsolable. A product of corruption. Erwin doesn't want that again. Usually, when Levi is in this kind of mood, Erwin lets him rant until he's satisfied, but tonight, tonight he just wants Levi to relax. He brings his hands down on Levi's shoulders without forethought, gripping the muscles and massaging gently. Erwin realizes, perhaps just a second too late, what he's doing. This sort of contact is going to get him on Levi's bad side. But before he can bring himself to pull away, Erwin recognizes the way Levi's shoulders droop and relax, arms uncrossing to go limp at his sides. It's like he's deflating.

Erwin blinks. He presses his fingers into the meat of Levi's shoulder and Levi makes a low, strange sound. He seems to fathom then what's happening, and pulls himself back, rips himself from Erwin's grip. His eyes are only wide a moment.

"What the hell," he says, without any anger or heat.

Erwin can see a light flush high on his cheekbones like someone painted it on there. Levi looks genuinely surprised, like he hadn't expected that reaction from himself. He blinks, staring pointedly at Erwin's shirt.

"Fine," Levi says. "I guess you're right. They're a bunch of pricks, anyway."

The whole time, he won't look at Erwin's face. He crosses his arms, then uncrosses them. Then he turns and walks out of Erwin's office. The entire interaction is inexplicably fascinating to Erwin. 

* * *

He put his neck on the line to get Levi in the Survey Corps. There were people, a lot of people, more than Erwin realized, who would have rather seen Levi dead than beyond the wall. But Erwin never wavered in his position. He knew what Levi was capable of. He saw it even when Levi refused to. Hanji called it his most daring gamble, and Erwin thought, _no._ To gamble meant there was a chance of losing. Levi was never something he planned to lose. 

* * *

The trainees look up to Levi. They're also terrified of him. They respect him. Call him humanity's strongest even though Levi absolutely detests that title. He's patient with them, though. Technically, Levi isn't involved with their training, but he'll often walk with Erwin around the grounds, a silent watcher. Sometimes he goes to help, muttering under his breath that they're a bunch of damn useless brats. Other times, he simply watches, face so passive Erwin has to wonder if he's thinking anything at all.

This particular day, it's miserable and rainy, and Erwin and Levi watch the training with their hoods pulled up. The trainees seem younger every year, even though they all enter at the same age. Maybe it's because they age so fast once they're in the field. One slips on the wet grass, stumbling face first, and Levi makes an exasperated sound.

"Let's go," he says.

They walk back, and Levi's movements are quick enough that Erwin actually has to take longer strides to keep up with him. Levi waits until the door to Erwin's office is shut before he finally says what's on his mind.

"They're going to get themselves killed before they even graduate."

"I know," Erwin says. "But that isn't your responsibility. They aren't going to be part of your squad."

"Yeah." Levi scoffs. "If they were, I'd—"

He cuts himself off as soon as Erwin's hands are on his shoulders. Levi goes rigid under his touch, shoulder lifting, but the second Erwin starts pressing into the muscle, he relaxes, almost as if he can't control it. Erwin wonders if maybe he can't. He's been waiting to try this again, so this time, Erwin doesn't stop. He knows what he's doing. He works the tension from Levi's narrow shoulders, feeling the bones roll under his palm. Erwin can't see his face, but he imagines Levi's eyes are closed. He digs his thumb into a stubborn spot between the blades of Levi's shoulders. Levi grunts.

"Erwin." His voice sounds slurred, like he's been drinking. "Erwin, what are you doing?"

"You need to learn to relax," Erwin tells him.

"This is fucking weird," Levi says. "Your hands are dirty."

But he doesn't ask Erwin to stop.

Erwin doesn't plan to.

His hands drift to the base of Levi's neck and press gently, feeling the rounded knob of his spine. Then Erwin works his way up to the base of his skull, the freshly shaved hairs like soft bristles against his fingertips. Levi's head dips forward ever so slightly, exposing more of his neck in a show of trust that has adrenaline racing up and down Erwin's arms. His presses his thumb and forefinger into a pressure point, and Levi groans.

The noise seems to surprise him, make him self-conscious, because he starts to tense up again, but Erwin doesn't relent in touching him.

"It's all right," he says.

Levi relaxes again. Erwin digs into the pressure point once more, this time with added force, and Levi moans, low and intimate. His head hangs down limply, most likely to hide the blush forming on his cheeks. Levi is like putty in his hands right now, moldable. Vulnerable. He's never seen the man so relaxed before.

"If I had known this about you," says Erwin, "I would have started doing this years ago."

"Shut up."

Erwin slows his movements, thinking that maybe stepped over a line that he shouldn't, but then Levi pushes back into his touch.

"Why are you stopping?" Levi says.

"Apologies."

It establishes a greater permission, so Erwin decides to try something.

"Sit down for me."

Levi obeys, moving to the couch without question. His balance seems slightly off, legs wobbling, but his face betrays little. He sits, back straight, and waits. Erwin pulls a chair over and sits to equal out their height a bit. Levi is watching him carefully, but his face holds no warning, only light curiosity. Erwin reaches out and presses his thumbs lightly against Levi's temple in a circular motion. Levi's eyes immediately flutter closed, mouth drooping. His breathing is even and relaxed. Erwin drags his fingers up across Levi's scalp, pressing with his fingertips. He moves all the way to the back of his head to move them once more across his neck. Levi hums, and then slowly leans forward until his forehead is resting against Erwin's shoulder. A shudder runs through him, very faint.

Erwin dips his right hand down the collar of Levi's shirt, rubbing at the soft skin of his back, the gentle bumps of his spine. Levi's breathing gets deeper.

"How do you feel?" Erwin says.

"Guh," says Levi. Then, "How do you think?"

It's not a question to answer, but Erwin does so anyway.

"I think you feel wonderful."

Before Levi can form any kind of reply, there's a knock on Erwin's door.

"Commander!" It's Mike. "Urgent news from the king."

It's like breaking a spell. Levi sits up, back rigid once more, hand smoothing over his hair. Likewise, Erwin stands up, dragging the chair back to his desk and smoothing out the wrinkles of his shirt. Levi crosses his legs on the couch, idly inspecting his fingernails, but Erwin can see the way the lines of his forehead have relaxed. He smiles, then gives Mike permission to enter.

* * *

They lose twenty men on the next expedition with seven wounded. Despite the loss, the mission itself is a success. They've captured one titan, a 7-meter class, which Hanji is especially ecstatic about. She dances around Erwin's office, unable to keep her feet still, babbling on and on about the experiments she has planned. Levi is massaging bridge of his nose, eyes closed.

"Would you shut up about that damn titan already?"

She ignores him entirely.

Erwin finishes his report and shuffles the papers together before standing. At that, Hanji does quiet down. She stands at attention to await further instruction from Erwin, though he plans on giving her full reign of the titan.

"How useful do you think these experiments will be in learning more about our enemy?"

"Very," Hanji says. "Those who sacrificed their lives today have not done so in vain."

She makes a low squealing sound. "And this titan has such beautiful teeth. I can't wait to take a look in that mouth."

"Very well," Erwin says. "You may start tomorrow."

Hanji salutes him and then spins on her heels to leave. Just outside the door, Erwin can hear her starting to talk to someone else about the titan. He collects the report papers in his hand and tucks them under his arm. Levi is still there, watching him, arms at his sides.

"You really think we'll learn anything?"

"I have to hope so," Erwin says.

The answer seems good enough to Levi. He lost two good men today outside the walls, and the bodies were unable to be recovered. Levi has spent the last hour or so contacting their family. He looks exhausted.

"I'm going to have a bath," he says.

Erwin watches him turn without saluting.

"Levi," he says.

Levi pivots back around.

"Come to my quarters after you've freshened up."

Levi blinks once, nods, and then leaves.

He enters Erwin's quarters without knocking a good two hours later, which Erwin expected. Levi has a habit of scrubbing his skin until it's raw after an expedition, something Erwin has yet to break him of. He can see red splotches on Levi's neck now where he's scrubbed just a bit too hard. At any rate, he looks immaculately put together, cravat tied, buttons done up. He leans into the door to shut it, flips the lock, not that anyone will bug Erwin at this hour, especially not here.

Levi moves forward, already expecting what's coming, though Erwin has slightly different plans for tonight. He cups the back of Levi's skull, fingers massaging lightly. Levi's eyes close immediately and he leans into the touch. Erwin swallows.

"Undress," he says. "Then lie on your stomach."

There is a stitch of hesitation in Levi, but he says nothing.

"It's okay." Erwin's thumb draws a line against his jaw. "I'm just going to help you relax."

Levi undresses slowly and methodically, taking his time to fold his clothes neatly and set them on the table. He looks smaller undressed, almost deceptively harmless. Erwin looks him over once he's naked, not lewdly, just to catalogue the map of Levi's body, admire it. In the candlelight he can see the angry marks from his gear where it was fastened just a bit too tight. Levi glances at him once, then climbs onto the bed and does as Erwin has asked. He folds his arms over the pillows and rests his head down, letting out one long, tired sigh. They've seen so much death, that sometimes Erwin is surprised they're still living. Sometimes he feels like they're already dead.

He takes off his own jacket and rolls the sleeves of his shirt up to the elbows before reaching for the oil on the bedside table. The mattress dips as he sits down but Levi doesn't tense, just stares blankly ahead at the wall and waits. Erwin thinks about how many people would trip over themselves to see Levi in this state, but this is a Levi only he will ever see. Levi trusts him completely, and that knowledge makes Erwin feel incredibly powerful, and at the same time, utterly powerless. Levi has given him this trust. He has earned this trust. He doesn't intend to lose it. Not ever.

Erwin pours a generous amount of oil into his hands before rubbing them together. Some drips onto Levi's back and he jumps at the coolness of it, but otherwise doesn't move. Erwin starts just like before, hands pressing into the tense muscles of Levi's shoulders and working at the stress there, at the responsibility. It amazes Erwin that someone as small as Levi could carry much tension inside of him.

"You did well today," he says.

Levi hums, says, "The titans were slow."

"Give yourself some credit."

Erwin moves his hands lower, pressing into the middle of Levi's back. He doesn't know the first thing about giving a proper massage, but he watches the movement of Levi's muscles for clues, listens to the hitch of his voice. His fingers drift to Levi's sides, skirting over the ribs. Levi twitches the contact, and at first Erwin thinks he's done something he shouldn't have, but he quickly realizes that Levi is just ticklish. Erwin can't help himself—he runs his fingers over Levi's ribs again. Levi twitches more violently.

"You bastard." His voice sounds thick and syrupy.

Erwin smiles but moves his attention to Levi's back again, using the same circular motion as before. He moves all the way to the dimples of Levi's lower back, pressing his thumbs into them before stopping to get more oil. He purposely bypasses Levi's ass and starts massaging his thighs, one at a time. He's meticulous about it, taking his time on each thigh before moving to the calves. Erwin even bends Levi's knee up so he can massage the ankle, the instep of his foot. He listens very carefully to the low groaning from deep in Levi's throat.

He pauses again to get more oil, and then, very carefully, slides his hands down over Levi's ass before stilling. They've never done this before. They've never touched in a way that was so intimate it left no confusion for motive. So Erwin is careful. But there's no movement from Levi, no word of protest, so Erwin continues. He rubs his hands over the globes of Levi's cheeks, slicking them with oil. And then down, down again, until his fingers very close to touching Levi more intimately than he thinks anyone has ever touched him before.

"Erwin."

Levi says his name like permission. His thighs part ever so slightly, enough for Erwin to know what he wants without a shadow of a doubt. The first press of his finger has Levi exhaling, hips pushing back. Erwin watches the way the lines and muscles of his back ripple under the light of the candles, shiny with oil. He has to remember to breathe. His finger moves slowly, experimentally, loosening him up until it's so easy to slip a second finger in. Levi is panting, now, hips moving against the mattress where his cock is trapped painfully. Erwin is hard in his trousers, but this isn't about him right now. He crooks his fingers, Levi's hole clenching and unclenching around them.

Three fingers in and Levi is pushing back against his him, trying to pull him in deeper. His face is buried in the pillow, arms lifted above his head to grip it tightly. Erwin wants to see his face. He wants so many things. He runs a soothing hand along Levi's back, and the man lets out a shudder that could be mistaken for a sob if Erwin didn't know him better.

"Fuck," Levi says, voice feather-light, and then again, "Fuck. Oh, fuck."

"That's it," Erwin says, encouraging. "Take what you need."

"Fuck, fuck. _Oh._ "

Levi's voice has gotten progressively louder, muffled now by the pillow. Erwin picks up his movements, fingers searching and prodding for Levi's prostate. He can see Levi visibly shake underneath him, all that tension coming loose. Once he finds his prostate and presses against it, Levi makes a sound so open and revealing that Erwin blushes despite himself. He feels it when Levi comes. The muscles of his ass clench around his fingers and Levi shudders violently before going still, Erwin's name unspoken on his lips.

Slowly, Erwin eases his fingers out, listening to ragged sounds of Levi trying to catch his breath. He grabs the towel by the bed and wipes his hands on it, aware of Levi on the bed still, his face hidden in the pillows. Erwin sits back down, this time closer.

"How do you feel?"

Levi lifts his face from the pillow, revealing the flush of his cheeks.

"Fucking relaxed, how do you think? Shit. I'm gonna need another bath though."

Levi pushes his hair from his face, looking very young.

"Come here," he says.

He doesn't actually wait for Erwin to obey. He pulls him down by the collar of his shirt and kisses him. It's a wide, open-mouth kiss, more tongue than lips and somehow more intimate that way. When Levi pulls away, he watches Erwin's mouth like it surprises him, like Erwin himself surprises him.

"How do you feel?" he says, mimicking Erwin.

Erwin shifts so he's lying next to Levi, their bodies parallel lines.

"I feel magnificent."

Levi shoves at him with a type of brotherly affection, arm slung around his neck. Another layer peeled away. Levi is many things. He is everything. Many words have been used to describe Levi, and Erwin thinks now that none of them feel right, because none will ever come close.   


End file.
